This Peanuts Youtube clip reminded me that the original intent for establishing a national holiday called Thanksgiving was to–yes–give thanks! Sometimes that intention is lost in the rush and crush of dinner preparation, travel, and black Friday shopping.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Even if you only spend a minute this week thinking of three or four things you are grateful for then you will have honored the tradition of Thanksgiving. Better yet, invite your friends and family to share what they are grateful for as you pass the turkey and fixings around the table.
Enjoy! And thank you for being my friend and blog buddy!
So thrilled to be a presenting my 20 min “TED-like” talk on Mindful Leadership at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, November 13, at the inaugural 4 For Success event in Tampa. Come join us for 4 stimulating presentations by 4 business and success coaches and networking at the PourHouse afterwards with discounted beverages for all with a 4 for Success program in hand. Like us on facebook for more information
Discounted tickets can be had by clicking here. Or you can pay $10 at the door at Stageworks Theatre, Channelside, Tampa
I was Googling “Fashion Week” and I came across this amazing article on 81-year-old fashion model Carmen Dell’Orefice.
She started modeling in her teens and was recently featured in an HBO documentary on supermodels. At first it was a pragmatic career move made to help her single mother pay some bills, but then the camera loved her and she graced the covers of the top fashion magazines and succeeded beyond her wildest dreams.
When Dell’Orefice lost much of her wealth to Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, she did what she needed to do and went back out on the runway. It was a move that that was motivated not just by money but by her awareness of her legacy, her passion, and who she is as a woman:
“I think America may be growing up and accepting the fact that the bulk of life exists beyond 50. Because demographically … the vast population is over 50,” she said. “This is not to negate the young people coming up. But what kind of an example are we giving young people?”
“I don’t know if it’s good or silly,” she told TODAY’s Jenna Bush Hager of her current modeling career. “It’s what I enjoy doing, and I’m able to do it.”
Forbes Magazine published this terrific list and as an Energy Leadership Master Practitioner I agree with this list whole-heartedly. Read this and I am sure you be reminded of a former boss or colleague who poisoned the work environment, demotivated their teams, failed to reach realistic goals as a result of these seven deadly sins.
These are behaviors that can be changed and most managers and leaders are motivated to change them when they realize the real “cost” of continuing these behaviors. The only blocks to change is to recognize the unconscious default behaviors and craft alternate responses. This is mindful leadership. As this article states, real positive change can be as simple as: hire great people; take responsibility; be kind; be generous; listen; and rule by hope and clarity.
Nature has a way of teaching us things we really do know but have forgotten. On my morning walk I came across this magnolia blossom and it reminded be how beautiful we all are, without trying to be or even thinking about it.
A magnolia blossom doesn’t have a mirror, makeup, a hot date, or an appointment to be any where. The blossom just shows up… in all of her magnificent beauty.
Not to impress but because that is just who she is.
I was speaking to a woman recently about my coaching practice and as I responded to her questions about the types of coaching I do, she interrupted and asked, “So, you are saying that people can choose to be happy?” I responded with a resounding “Yes!”
Fast forward a couple months to B.E.A.C.H.* Retreat (Balancing Every Action to Cultivate Happiness) an weekend retreat for women myself and my colleague Sarah Haynes are facilitating at a beach resort in Clearwater Beach Florida July 12-14, 2013. I have posted the flyer above.
I have been looking forward to this weekend for the past month, inspired by the questions Deepak invites us to ask before we jump in to anything:
Is it fun?
Are the people you are doing it with fun?
Are you going in with an intention of service?
I answer these questions with a resounding “Yes!”
Care to join us? Only three spots left. Call the number on the flyer above for more information or email email@example.com.
Or see if you recognize someone, or yourself, in these tips to identify the meeting troll:
–The meeting troll has a never-ending list of reasonable objections. It’s the length of the list that makes the objections unreasonable.
–The meeting troll never says ‘we’. It’s all about ‘you.’
–The meeting troll doesn’t actually want you to fail, but is establishing a trail so that if you do, he’s off the hook.
–A key giveway: The meeting troll will use the phrase, “devil’s advocate.” More than once.
Growth hackers look for a yes at every turn. The meeting troll thinks his job is to find the no.
A recent blog post published in The Huffington Post attempts to explain why (most) successful women in the USA are childless. While the author, Kristen Houghton doesn’t cover all the reasons why this appears to be true, she does make an important point:
to succeed, you need to focus on what you want without distraction. To do that, you need to put what needs to be done high on your list of priorities. Men have been doing it for years without anyone thinking less of them. Whether in the corporate, financial or even artistic realms, to reach the top in your career requires a single-minded drive, dedication and passion.
True. And that single-minded drive is often, intentionally, not directed to the role of parent. However, there are mothers who have developed very successful careers as Facebook’s COO Sheryl Sandberg effectively documents in her recent best-seller Lean In. However, Sandberg has this to say:
Women rarely make one big decision to leave the workforce. Instead, they make a lot of small decisions along the way,” Sandberg wrote, according to a book excerpt on Time.com. “A law associate might decide not to shoot for partner because someday she hopes to have a family. A sales rep might take a smaller territory or not apply for a management role. A teacher might pass on leading curriculum development for her school. Often without even realizing it, women stop reaching for new opportunities.”
In my interview’s for Two Is Enough, I saw evidence of this series of “small decisions” in the process of ultimately deciding to remain childfree. Women deciding to postpone childbearing. Women turning down a proposal from a man who clearly wants to start a family. Women rejecting the idea of being a single mom.
Women who intend to be mothers make the same series of decisions that limit their ability to compete or succeed in the top ranks. Some women have been quick to blame the glass ceiling or discrimination for the lack of women CEOs or COOs in the USA, but that’s only one piece of it according to Sandberg. I tend to agree. As a coach I help my clients make these decisions and we go through a process of overt discernment when covering all the options. The trick to values-based decision-making is to make these decisions consciously with a clear sense of your wants and values, with eyes wide open, knowing that every choice you make excludes another competing option.
As a coach and in my private life I have had a great deal of experience managing conflict. To me conflict is not a bad word, yet I see organizations and individuals tiptoe around it as if it were a landmine. It’s not. It’s a natural expression of healthy engagement and collaboration. Recently I came across an excellent article written by colleagues of mine at the Center of Conflict Dynamics, which I thought would help us to see conflict in a more positive light, and trust that we can, and do, manage conflict to our benefit:
I have never found a high performing team that did not have moments when team members disagreed, debated, or argued. These teams all had a healthy respect for the value of not only having differences of opinions or perspectives, but for having learned how to manage themselves as they worked through the discord or tensions precipitated by their disputes. High performing teams have a high degree of emotional intelligence and recognize that they must go through a process of learning how to first listen to and understand diverging points of view before they can evaluate them and arrive at a converging consensus.
The great news is that emotional intelligence can be learned to a large degree and a small shift in energy and awareness can make a huge difference in how conflict plays out. Learning how to listen without judgment is a key skill in mastering the art of conflict. Try spending just 10 minutes a day listening without judgment to see what a difference that can make in building trust and healthy collaboration.